Here is my contribution towards the list of HNY messages flooding your in-boxes. Some....errr..... literary stuff, to while away the coffee break as you try to get back into work this Friday afternoon.
In the wake of the "10 best movies of 2003", "10 top songs of 2003", "10 hottest new restaurants of 2003" etc ad nauseam, comes the Guardian Literary Review's 'Bad Sex Prize, which reaches the parts other prizes can only moan about.....The prize was started 11 years ago by the late Auberon Waugh, to mock "redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel".'
I know for sure that as a cut 'n' paste, it won't make it past your email filters - and mine has just warned me that if I do, I am sending out three chilli rated offensive stuff. Hence here are a few edited highlights, from http://books.guardian.co.uk/
Happy New Year, my very very very best to you.
Classy examples of Bad Sex from 2003:
"She is topping up your engine oil for the cross-country coming up. Your RPM is hitting a new high. To wait any longer would be to lose prime time... She picks up a Bugatti's momentum. You want her more at a Volkswagen's steady trot. Squeeze the maximum mileage out of your gallon of gas. But she's eating up the road with all cylinders blazing."
"she sucked away like she was the last person left on earth to play the bagpipes on Robbie Burns' birthday."
"he reached up between...and plunged two fingers...and began to probe .....as if he was searching for lost car keys."
and
"Her mind screamed: Shut up, Lucy! You're not doing the Cosmopolitan crossword now."
2nd January, 2004
